friendship - gotta b a two way street , surely?

the last few years has been a busy few years in regards of engagement dos/hen dos/ weddings/ babies and with it has seen an unintentional shift in some of my friendships.

I know its all part of growing up and not for one minute am i wistfully looking back to the carefree days of "my yuff" or a jealously for "the big sparkly" ring. But I do regret how close friendship ties have changed (and not in a good way.)

It saddens me that people who I was incredibly close to, loads in common, shared a joke with I struggle to find much common ground.

Yes I am interested in, excited by sharing in events like planning for a wedding but to the same extent I would also like my friends to have an interest in sharing MY life/my news/my problems. Rather than a typical 30 minute catch up being 25 mins about "plans" and a rather flippant "so how are you anyway"" asking about me stuck at the end.

However once the "big stork" brings a little bundle things seem to get worse. Again I understand how totally amazing it is this gift of life for you and your bloke however it is NOT the most important thing in MY life. When I phone up to catch up or arrange to meet you i dont need to hear the every Ins and Outs of the "wee woman" or "wee man" (footnote: i frikkin HATE those phrases!!!!) YOU are my friend, YOU are the one I'm interested in... I dont or understand things like epidural, reflux, infections so if I have a rather glazed expression you can understand why.

So thats about it. It will interesting to see what happens over the next few years.

AA - a national company or just for south of england?

Have just about calmed down after experiencing one of the most inept episodes of customer care on Friday.

I was driving home from work happy that it was at last the weekend. As I was drawing closer to Belfast my car started to go a bit wonky and at the start I thought it was a rough bit of the road but quickly established that it was a blow out. So I pulled over on the hard shoulder of the motorway, got out to look to a bad smell of burning rubber. I phoned through to the AA and after the usual questions about name, membership number etc told the AA worker that I had broken down on the hard shoulder of the M2 motorway heading back into Belfast. He asked if there were any markers near by (which there was as I just happened to be sitting at one) so told him what it was. He asked whether I was west or east ( I hadnt a clue so repeated I wasnt sure it was heading back into belfast. At this point he said I would take priority as it was a motorway breakdown so someone would be there at 5:45 (which was roughly half hour away.)

I put hazard lights on, got outta the car and prepared to wait. Luckily it wasn't overly cold and still fairly bright. At 5:40 the traffic branch of police pulled over and were extremely nice and helpful. They offered to wait but I assured them the AA were on their way. At 5.55 I got a phonecall from someone from AA saying he was on his way and where exactly was I. Even though he had a cockney accentI didn't consider this especially strange. Again I explained I was stuck on hard shoulder heading into Belfast. 10 mins later I got another call from a local guy saying he had taken over the job and would be there in about 20 mins.

By this time it was about 6.10 ( 1 hr after my initial call) so was a bit peeved. I said some other guy is already on his way to which he replied the other guy had been pulled off. By this stage my phone battery was on the red, it was starting to get dark and cold so I got sis to phone the AA office to give them what for. To be fair they were apologetic and said they would be there ASAP.

So at 6:35 ( a grand total of 1 and half hours after I had phoned them to report a breakdown on a busy motorway ) the AA pulled up. I couldnt believe my ears when the local guy explained that they got mixed up and thought I was on the M2 in England. And there's were I have my issue with the AA. Something is clearly going wrong with AA customer service training that he thought I was stuck on the M2 in England as there were a number of obvious clues:

a) membership has a Belfast address

2) more than once I mentioned I was on the M2 travelling back to Belfast

3) I gave actual motorway signpost codes which I'm presuming are unique to that stretch of the M2 in N Ireland.

4) the guy never once asked was I in england, N Ireland, Scotland or Wales.



Surely the fact that the AA is a nationwide organisation the first question the customer line should be told to ask is to establish what part of the country the breakdown is? If not then they shoudn't take our money and allow me to get local help.



Again I say the local guy was an absolute star and even charged up my battery (which incidentally went flat due to the hazard lights being on. Im not the type of person who would generally write to complain but on this occasion I will be. And maybe next time Im due to renew membership I might just check out the RAC instead.

Maybe it's time to admit I'm a grown up?

Even though University is a distant memory and school even more so I have always clung onto the ideal that I'm not really ready to be considered am adult. However, events recently have made me realize the fact I'm kidding no -one "I have to take my place in society".

My nieces and nephews are of an age where they are now aware of things, look to me as an authoritive figure, for guidance (and of course to fleece for extra pocket money!) And yes, I still like to think of myself as "cool Auntie Paula" but that's another story!

Secondly the last few years have seen a change (be it reluctant) in my work responsibilies. I now find myself in senior management in work. Don't get me wrong it's not something I struggle with regarding capabilities but more the fact I'm not overly a "career minded person". I have never been interested in climbing the greasy pole.

With the somewhat bad health of my boss I have been acting up as "boss/decision maker" for the last 9 days. And again I havent shyed away - have met and discussed issues with co workers, outside agencies, parents etc. The fact that they have looked to me to make far ranging decisions makes me see how other people view me now - well at least during the 9- 5 monday to Friday.

And the weekend? Well thats an entirely different case , my friends !!!!!!!!:)

Surely it's time to ditch the TV license?

Today along with the other exciting brown envelopes in my letter box I received the annual "demand" for £145 of my hard earned cash. When you consider that this money isn't to watch tv in generally but only the ones contacted with the BBC I don't think I'm getting value for money.

Once I go back to work again I will be back to watching TV roughly for 4 hours/day (Mon - Fri) and mayb 8 hours or so at the weekend. Out of this I can hand on heart say I rarely watch bbc1,2,3 programmes. I don't watch Eastenders (dreary london life - er no thank you), I find their news reporting bias and in last few years they seem to have lost out on most of the major sporting events to sky or other rival companies. I did like the Jonathan Ross chat show (but if reports that Graham Norton is taking over as new host - sorry not my thing!)

Yes there are some programmes produced by the "beeb" that I like - Spooks is a fav, I dip into Strictly come dancing" and currently "mistresses" but that's about all that floats my boat.

Then there is the radio stations - and here I probably get more value. I admit to listening to the Radio 1 breakfast show for the drive into work since the Chris Evans Days, and like Scott Miles for drive home but really is there need for all the "jollies" DJ's from the show seem to be on - trips by moyles few yrs back to Germany for football, the trips to New york, Ibiza , Anya Napa every year - Value for money? Hardly.

We as consumers have the right to choose the addidtional stations we want to purchase -sky, virgin media, the now de funked Setana so why can't we have the same choice with the BBC? And by the way they aren't particularly cheap either but at least I can choose if I want to pay the money.

Surely in 2010 its time for BBC to ditch the license and go down the ad route same as the other stations and u never know their viewing figures just might go up!

st georges market - top 40 things to do in Belfast? I think so

Yesterday along with my pal Gillian I went to visit the Sunday market at St George's Market. I was nosey to see if all the hype about the place was true and also was curious to meet some of the people/businesses people talk about on my twitter feed.

Bare in mind my previous experince of SGM was as a 17 yr old student back in the day. Me and friends from school used to visit there on Friday mornings during the school holidays to "pick up a bargain". There was a different sort of vibe about the place then - I'm not being snobby but the vendors were a bit rougher, definately "more Belfast" and less up for the craic.

Indeed when I told my mum yesterday I was at the market she shuddered with the memory of some of the purchases I used to bring back.

I think her personal favourite was a long black trench coat which had to be hung out on the line for at least 2 weeks to get rid of the staunch. Me - it was a long patterned dress which I cut into a rather fetching (or so iIthought at the time) top.

So back to SGM in 2010, yes I think the 2nd hand clothes market (similar to Smithfield vibe) still is very popular on a Friday but the addition of the saturday/sunday markets which are prominately to appeal to tourist, students, people who enjoy the culinary experiences which are promoted through the Contenential markets.

As soon as we went in there was the sound of the Jazz band vibrating about the places - people were buzzing around carrying different things to eat, drink or just to brighten up their homes. One of the first stalls we came across was a fabulous jewellery stall similiar in style to the lovely (but kinda pricey ) Miglio jewellery. I had been eying up a fabulous ring and necklace expecting them to be £70 + and nearly "shit a log" when the lady said the ring was £8 and necklace was £20. Similiar Miglio bracelet is retailing for £220. So first purchase made (Gillian also bought 2 bracelets for her up incoming wedding for bridesmaids!)

As we browsed around the different stalls "would you care to sample?" was a common question. And people were happy to talk rather than that "pressure" to only sample if you intend to buy. Personal favs included the German marcoon/truffles guy who was new , slightly hap hazard but v funny, the chutney people (spicy chutney and crackers were delish), chocolate coulture, aunt sandras fudge and the delish cupcakes at Cakes by James. Did I mention I like food? lol

Next we went to look for the photgraphy stall of someone whom I follow on twitter - the v talented Edward Wilson. And even though I wasnt in the market to buy some prints at the moment thought his images of different parts of belfast were stunning, vibrant and would definately be a fab memory of Our wee land.

For lunch I decided to have a savory pancake which was nice though too full as we listened to the band again.

All in all a fabulous way to spend a few hours in a sunday afternoon. In conclusion this belfast chick will be back again VVV soon!

Sometimes It's hard to be a woman

in the words of the ultimate woman Dolly Parson.
And dont worry people Im not talking about men (as that would take a flippin series of books to work that one out!!!) no Im talking about the pressures of us woman to look good.
Now I'm not talking the general expected maintainence here - hair cuts, waxing, basic make up I'm talking about all the extra stuff we spend on looking good for whatever reason.
I would pretty much describe myself is the "anti girlie girl" or a tomboy was prob how i was described when I was younger. However, even I have been "persuaded" into going that extra mile in beauty care and it astounds me as to how much it's all added up.

This is how much I've spent on the "body beautiful" over the last 2 yrs:

Laser Hair removal underarm = £360
Braces £3,100
Contact lenses = £15/month
Nails = £70 /6 weeks
Gym membership £25 (now lapsed)
Spray tans for a special event - roughly 8 times/year £20
Purchase of a power plate machine £150
Hair styled for special events £20/5 oor 6 times

When I look at that I must admit I'm pretty embarrassed at the extent of my vanity - think of how much good that would do at the current Pakistan Flooding.

However, two points though firstly I work blooming hard for my money and do have my regular debits to 3 charities (ok its a small amount but still it is more than most!)
Secondly I am very happy in my body, the changes I make are things that I want to do. Its not because Im depressed, have a downer on myself, have pressures from anyone else to make changes.

However what with the advent of Becks and the Metro sexual man I think maybe in 5 yrs you men will be singing Its hard to be a man too!

social networking - the good, bad, ugly and the downright weird.

Unless you have been living on Mars or on that deserted island with Robinson Cruscoe if you are in any way computer literate chances are you are part of the "social networking" thing. Me - I've had a Facebook account for just over 3 yrs and been on Twitter just over a year. And I must admit Im pretty addicted to it all.
Recently a few things have happened which have been downright odd so thought I would blog about it. But first the good:

The main reason why I "love" FB, Twitter is due to the fact that it has made our planet so much more accessible. Originally when I opened my FB account it was pretty much to keep in contact with friends I had made all over the world. As someone who loves travelling and has been fortunate enough to have plenty of worldwide adventures it has been a fab way of touching base with friends as for away as New Zealand or as close as Athlone.
Coupled with this is the "new people" I have chatted to through the various apps I added when I first started FB.
Human Pets was once such one where I chatted to a variety of people who in reality I would never have met. It can be pretty liberating telling strangers things going on in your life, asking for advise without the fear of anyone "judging your actions".

The bad:
Recently a few things have saddened me and shows me that there are some crazies and downright mean people in the world. You only have to look at that group set up after the death of Raoul Moat. Within hours of his death someone had posted a group "RIP Moat, you legend" which gained over 30,000 members (i think) before it was removed. Also living in NI it sickens me seeing groups set up glorifying our wee islands tragic past.

The ugly:
Again this is something which became apparent in last few weeks is the on line bullying and the mob mentality which happens. How easy for it is to someone to be nasty, vicious to people and then others join in and egg the first person on.
I'll hold my hands up and say I have got involved at the "banter" you sometimes get on twitter or groups (all the comments during tv programmes like X factor) can be extremely funny to read. However, I would never post something negative about a person ( appearance, weight or any other personal issue). I was saddened to hear that someone whose tweets and blogs I had always enjoyed reading had de ctivated their account because of a campaign of hatred against them. To me thats when it stops being funny. To be weepy, unable to sleep, snappy in your real life because people are sending you nasty messages to ur in box and then post horrid horrid comments goes beyond having a laugh. And maybe Im a wee bit guilty too as although I wasn't involved in it and didnt know all that was going on, I was aware that something was up but didnt want to stick my nose into a battle which wasn't mine.

And the downright weird:
First weird is a Good weird in that I was actually headhunted through my FB again. When i joined FB the old NI discussion board was pretty inactive and there were only really about 10 regular posters. At the time I built up a good banter with 5/6 of the other ones and tried to get the board going with many different discussion topics.
Coupled with this was the fact that my profile pic for about first 2 yrs was the one which is currently on the blog (red hat and glasses). This was for the reason that I didnt want ex pupils seeing me but a marketing executiv from one of NI main advertising companies thought it was a marketing ploy and contacted me about doing some freelance work! (true story) Unfortunatekly was too busy in own work so never went to meet up with him!

2nd weird is the fact that there is a feature on twitter which notifies you if someone "unfollows you". This I found v strange as although I probably banter more now on twitter than on FB the majoritity of people I follow/follow me are in fact strangers. Yes some I would now count as friends and hope to meet up with several soon but strangers none the less.
Few weeks back I decided to unfollow someone - firstly they were tweeting far too much but secondly the fact that they seemed to see themselves as a Kate Adie character and were posting large amounts on the riots (which i DIDNT want to read about) so unfollowed. I couldnt believe it the nxt day when I got a tweet asking had I (and 2 others) meant to unfollow. When I looked at her page she had tweeted that a email notification had come throught at 1 am telling who had unfollowed her.
I found that absolutely crazy that someone whom I had never met seemed to take offence that I no longer wanted to read mundane facts about her life. Furthermore when one of the other 2 people tried to explain their actions , one of them was made to feel so bad that he went on to de activate his account later that day - MAD!!!!!

anyway thats about it. Saying all that I do still think that the good still outweights the bad so for now at least Im here to stay!