friendship - gotta b a two way street , surely?

the last few years has been a busy few years in regards of engagement dos/hen dos/ weddings/ babies and with it has seen an unintentional shift in some of my friendships.

I know its all part of growing up and not for one minute am i wistfully looking back to the carefree days of "my yuff" or a jealously for "the big sparkly" ring. But I do regret how close friendship ties have changed (and not in a good way.)

It saddens me that people who I was incredibly close to, loads in common, shared a joke with I struggle to find much common ground.

Yes I am interested in, excited by sharing in events like planning for a wedding but to the same extent I would also like my friends to have an interest in sharing MY life/my news/my problems. Rather than a typical 30 minute catch up being 25 mins about "plans" and a rather flippant "so how are you anyway"" asking about me stuck at the end.

However once the "big stork" brings a little bundle things seem to get worse. Again I understand how totally amazing it is this gift of life for you and your bloke however it is NOT the most important thing in MY life. When I phone up to catch up or arrange to meet you i dont need to hear the every Ins and Outs of the "wee woman" or "wee man" (footnote: i frikkin HATE those phrases!!!!) YOU are my friend, YOU are the one I'm interested in... I dont or understand things like epidural, reflux, infections so if I have a rather glazed expression you can understand why.

So thats about it. It will interesting to see what happens over the next few years.

AA - a national company or just for south of england?

Have just about calmed down after experiencing one of the most inept episodes of customer care on Friday.

I was driving home from work happy that it was at last the weekend. As I was drawing closer to Belfast my car started to go a bit wonky and at the start I thought it was a rough bit of the road but quickly established that it was a blow out. So I pulled over on the hard shoulder of the motorway, got out to look to a bad smell of burning rubber. I phoned through to the AA and after the usual questions about name, membership number etc told the AA worker that I had broken down on the hard shoulder of the M2 motorway heading back into Belfast. He asked if there were any markers near by (which there was as I just happened to be sitting at one) so told him what it was. He asked whether I was west or east ( I hadnt a clue so repeated I wasnt sure it was heading back into belfast. At this point he said I would take priority as it was a motorway breakdown so someone would be there at 5:45 (which was roughly half hour away.)

I put hazard lights on, got outta the car and prepared to wait. Luckily it wasn't overly cold and still fairly bright. At 5:40 the traffic branch of police pulled over and were extremely nice and helpful. They offered to wait but I assured them the AA were on their way. At 5.55 I got a phonecall from someone from AA saying he was on his way and where exactly was I. Even though he had a cockney accentI didn't consider this especially strange. Again I explained I was stuck on hard shoulder heading into Belfast. 10 mins later I got another call from a local guy saying he had taken over the job and would be there in about 20 mins.

By this time it was about 6.10 ( 1 hr after my initial call) so was a bit peeved. I said some other guy is already on his way to which he replied the other guy had been pulled off. By this stage my phone battery was on the red, it was starting to get dark and cold so I got sis to phone the AA office to give them what for. To be fair they were apologetic and said they would be there ASAP.

So at 6:35 ( a grand total of 1 and half hours after I had phoned them to report a breakdown on a busy motorway ) the AA pulled up. I couldnt believe my ears when the local guy explained that they got mixed up and thought I was on the M2 in England. And there's were I have my issue with the AA. Something is clearly going wrong with AA customer service training that he thought I was stuck on the M2 in England as there were a number of obvious clues:

a) membership has a Belfast address

2) more than once I mentioned I was on the M2 travelling back to Belfast

3) I gave actual motorway signpost codes which I'm presuming are unique to that stretch of the M2 in N Ireland.

4) the guy never once asked was I in england, N Ireland, Scotland or Wales.



Surely the fact that the AA is a nationwide organisation the first question the customer line should be told to ask is to establish what part of the country the breakdown is? If not then they shoudn't take our money and allow me to get local help.



Again I say the local guy was an absolute star and even charged up my battery (which incidentally went flat due to the hazard lights being on. Im not the type of person who would generally write to complain but on this occasion I will be. And maybe next time Im due to renew membership I might just check out the RAC instead.

Maybe it's time to admit I'm a grown up?

Even though University is a distant memory and school even more so I have always clung onto the ideal that I'm not really ready to be considered am adult. However, events recently have made me realize the fact I'm kidding no -one "I have to take my place in society".

My nieces and nephews are of an age where they are now aware of things, look to me as an authoritive figure, for guidance (and of course to fleece for extra pocket money!) And yes, I still like to think of myself as "cool Auntie Paula" but that's another story!

Secondly the last few years have seen a change (be it reluctant) in my work responsibilies. I now find myself in senior management in work. Don't get me wrong it's not something I struggle with regarding capabilities but more the fact I'm not overly a "career minded person". I have never been interested in climbing the greasy pole.

With the somewhat bad health of my boss I have been acting up as "boss/decision maker" for the last 9 days. And again I havent shyed away - have met and discussed issues with co workers, outside agencies, parents etc. The fact that they have looked to me to make far ranging decisions makes me see how other people view me now - well at least during the 9- 5 monday to Friday.

And the weekend? Well thats an entirely different case , my friends !!!!!!!!:)

Surely it's time to ditch the TV license?

Today along with the other exciting brown envelopes in my letter box I received the annual "demand" for £145 of my hard earned cash. When you consider that this money isn't to watch tv in generally but only the ones contacted with the BBC I don't think I'm getting value for money.

Once I go back to work again I will be back to watching TV roughly for 4 hours/day (Mon - Fri) and mayb 8 hours or so at the weekend. Out of this I can hand on heart say I rarely watch bbc1,2,3 programmes. I don't watch Eastenders (dreary london life - er no thank you), I find their news reporting bias and in last few years they seem to have lost out on most of the major sporting events to sky or other rival companies. I did like the Jonathan Ross chat show (but if reports that Graham Norton is taking over as new host - sorry not my thing!)

Yes there are some programmes produced by the "beeb" that I like - Spooks is a fav, I dip into Strictly come dancing" and currently "mistresses" but that's about all that floats my boat.

Then there is the radio stations - and here I probably get more value. I admit to listening to the Radio 1 breakfast show for the drive into work since the Chris Evans Days, and like Scott Miles for drive home but really is there need for all the "jollies" DJ's from the show seem to be on - trips by moyles few yrs back to Germany for football, the trips to New york, Ibiza , Anya Napa every year - Value for money? Hardly.

We as consumers have the right to choose the addidtional stations we want to purchase -sky, virgin media, the now de funked Setana so why can't we have the same choice with the BBC? And by the way they aren't particularly cheap either but at least I can choose if I want to pay the money.

Surely in 2010 its time for BBC to ditch the license and go down the ad route same as the other stations and u never know their viewing figures just might go up!

st georges market - top 40 things to do in Belfast? I think so

Yesterday along with my pal Gillian I went to visit the Sunday market at St George's Market. I was nosey to see if all the hype about the place was true and also was curious to meet some of the people/businesses people talk about on my twitter feed.

Bare in mind my previous experince of SGM was as a 17 yr old student back in the day. Me and friends from school used to visit there on Friday mornings during the school holidays to "pick up a bargain". There was a different sort of vibe about the place then - I'm not being snobby but the vendors were a bit rougher, definately "more Belfast" and less up for the craic.

Indeed when I told my mum yesterday I was at the market she shuddered with the memory of some of the purchases I used to bring back.

I think her personal favourite was a long black trench coat which had to be hung out on the line for at least 2 weeks to get rid of the staunch. Me - it was a long patterned dress which I cut into a rather fetching (or so iIthought at the time) top.

So back to SGM in 2010, yes I think the 2nd hand clothes market (similar to Smithfield vibe) still is very popular on a Friday but the addition of the saturday/sunday markets which are prominately to appeal to tourist, students, people who enjoy the culinary experiences which are promoted through the Contenential markets.

As soon as we went in there was the sound of the Jazz band vibrating about the places - people were buzzing around carrying different things to eat, drink or just to brighten up their homes. One of the first stalls we came across was a fabulous jewellery stall similiar in style to the lovely (but kinda pricey ) Miglio jewellery. I had been eying up a fabulous ring and necklace expecting them to be £70 + and nearly "shit a log" when the lady said the ring was £8 and necklace was £20. Similiar Miglio bracelet is retailing for £220. So first purchase made (Gillian also bought 2 bracelets for her up incoming wedding for bridesmaids!)

As we browsed around the different stalls "would you care to sample?" was a common question. And people were happy to talk rather than that "pressure" to only sample if you intend to buy. Personal favs included the German marcoon/truffles guy who was new , slightly hap hazard but v funny, the chutney people (spicy chutney and crackers were delish), chocolate coulture, aunt sandras fudge and the delish cupcakes at Cakes by James. Did I mention I like food? lol

Next we went to look for the photgraphy stall of someone whom I follow on twitter - the v talented Edward Wilson. And even though I wasnt in the market to buy some prints at the moment thought his images of different parts of belfast were stunning, vibrant and would definately be a fab memory of Our wee land.

For lunch I decided to have a savory pancake which was nice though too full as we listened to the band again.

All in all a fabulous way to spend a few hours in a sunday afternoon. In conclusion this belfast chick will be back again VVV soon!

Sometimes It's hard to be a woman

in the words of the ultimate woman Dolly Parson.
And dont worry people Im not talking about men (as that would take a flippin series of books to work that one out!!!) no Im talking about the pressures of us woman to look good.
Now I'm not talking the general expected maintainence here - hair cuts, waxing, basic make up I'm talking about all the extra stuff we spend on looking good for whatever reason.
I would pretty much describe myself is the "anti girlie girl" or a tomboy was prob how i was described when I was younger. However, even I have been "persuaded" into going that extra mile in beauty care and it astounds me as to how much it's all added up.

This is how much I've spent on the "body beautiful" over the last 2 yrs:

Laser Hair removal underarm = £360
Braces £3,100
Contact lenses = £15/month
Nails = £70 /6 weeks
Gym membership £25 (now lapsed)
Spray tans for a special event - roughly 8 times/year £20
Purchase of a power plate machine £150
Hair styled for special events £20/5 oor 6 times

When I look at that I must admit I'm pretty embarrassed at the extent of my vanity - think of how much good that would do at the current Pakistan Flooding.

However, two points though firstly I work blooming hard for my money and do have my regular debits to 3 charities (ok its a small amount but still it is more than most!)
Secondly I am very happy in my body, the changes I make are things that I want to do. Its not because Im depressed, have a downer on myself, have pressures from anyone else to make changes.

However what with the advent of Becks and the Metro sexual man I think maybe in 5 yrs you men will be singing Its hard to be a man too!

social networking - the good, bad, ugly and the downright weird.

Unless you have been living on Mars or on that deserted island with Robinson Cruscoe if you are in any way computer literate chances are you are part of the "social networking" thing. Me - I've had a Facebook account for just over 3 yrs and been on Twitter just over a year. And I must admit Im pretty addicted to it all.
Recently a few things have happened which have been downright odd so thought I would blog about it. But first the good:

The main reason why I "love" FB, Twitter is due to the fact that it has made our planet so much more accessible. Originally when I opened my FB account it was pretty much to keep in contact with friends I had made all over the world. As someone who loves travelling and has been fortunate enough to have plenty of worldwide adventures it has been a fab way of touching base with friends as for away as New Zealand or as close as Athlone.
Coupled with this is the "new people" I have chatted to through the various apps I added when I first started FB.
Human Pets was once such one where I chatted to a variety of people who in reality I would never have met. It can be pretty liberating telling strangers things going on in your life, asking for advise without the fear of anyone "judging your actions".

The bad:
Recently a few things have saddened me and shows me that there are some crazies and downright mean people in the world. You only have to look at that group set up after the death of Raoul Moat. Within hours of his death someone had posted a group "RIP Moat, you legend" which gained over 30,000 members (i think) before it was removed. Also living in NI it sickens me seeing groups set up glorifying our wee islands tragic past.

The ugly:
Again this is something which became apparent in last few weeks is the on line bullying and the mob mentality which happens. How easy for it is to someone to be nasty, vicious to people and then others join in and egg the first person on.
I'll hold my hands up and say I have got involved at the "banter" you sometimes get on twitter or groups (all the comments during tv programmes like X factor) can be extremely funny to read. However, I would never post something negative about a person ( appearance, weight or any other personal issue). I was saddened to hear that someone whose tweets and blogs I had always enjoyed reading had de ctivated their account because of a campaign of hatred against them. To me thats when it stops being funny. To be weepy, unable to sleep, snappy in your real life because people are sending you nasty messages to ur in box and then post horrid horrid comments goes beyond having a laugh. And maybe Im a wee bit guilty too as although I wasn't involved in it and didnt know all that was going on, I was aware that something was up but didnt want to stick my nose into a battle which wasn't mine.

And the downright weird:
First weird is a Good weird in that I was actually headhunted through my FB again. When i joined FB the old NI discussion board was pretty inactive and there were only really about 10 regular posters. At the time I built up a good banter with 5/6 of the other ones and tried to get the board going with many different discussion topics.
Coupled with this was the fact that my profile pic for about first 2 yrs was the one which is currently on the blog (red hat and glasses). This was for the reason that I didnt want ex pupils seeing me but a marketing executiv from one of NI main advertising companies thought it was a marketing ploy and contacted me about doing some freelance work! (true story) Unfortunatekly was too busy in own work so never went to meet up with him!

2nd weird is the fact that there is a feature on twitter which notifies you if someone "unfollows you". This I found v strange as although I probably banter more now on twitter than on FB the majoritity of people I follow/follow me are in fact strangers. Yes some I would now count as friends and hope to meet up with several soon but strangers none the less.
Few weeks back I decided to unfollow someone - firstly they were tweeting far too much but secondly the fact that they seemed to see themselves as a Kate Adie character and were posting large amounts on the riots (which i DIDNT want to read about) so unfollowed. I couldnt believe it the nxt day when I got a tweet asking had I (and 2 others) meant to unfollow. When I looked at her page she had tweeted that a email notification had come throught at 1 am telling who had unfollowed her.
I found that absolutely crazy that someone whom I had never met seemed to take offence that I no longer wanted to read mundane facts about her life. Furthermore when one of the other 2 people tried to explain their actions , one of them was made to feel so bad that he went on to de activate his account later that day - MAD!!!!!

anyway thats about it. Saying all that I do still think that the good still outweights the bad so for now at least Im here to stay!

So is Stephanie Meyer the new Shakespere then?

So possible any guys reading or ladies over a certain age (ie 21 yrs) might be scratching their head saying WHO at this point. So let me explain S Meyer is the author behind the Twilight Saga.
Ok for those who havent stopped reading at the mention of Twilight let me explain what I mean. Twilight is the 1st of 4 books centrating on the story of vampires, werewolves but predominately this is a modern day love story.
Strip away the oddities of the two main guy characters - (one is "the living dead/cold man " the other is a furry, snarling canine ) and what do you get? Both guys fighting over the heart of the human - Bella.
So who is still confused as to why on earth i think this book shares any similarities to Shakesperes most famous book - Romeo and Juliet? Let me explain.
This is a love story of the highest degree- the kind that you only really find in books or films. The deep burning connection between the 2 characters whats superceeds life or death. Like R &J, Edward and Bella are willing to die rather than existing without each other.
Point 2 - even though this series is written in modern day America the morals of the 2 heroes are a theme throughout the 4 books. Edward is determined not to "do the do" with Bella until they are married. Also (and please feel fress to correct me if Im wrong but) there is no swear words,cursing in the books or film. So another postive theme which could be used as an example in schools or for life. Now this could be more to do with the fact that S Meyer was brought up with a Mormon background where this behaviour was unaccectable but still is a postive message to have.
Soooo am i convincing anyone yet? Who is with me in my campaign to replace good ole Will Shakespere with Miss Meyer?
Not yet? Ok third reason then lets discuss the relationship between the 2 main groups in the story - the vampires and the werewolves. And yes we had the rivalary in West Side Story but think of the postive message of twilight. The WW and V werent just rivals based on a gang culture. Their reason for hating each other went centuries deep and fundamentally the whole reason for the WW existance was to protect against the V. Yet in book 3 (eclipse) the 2 groups have to put aside differences to work towards a common goal of protecting Bella.
Also think about it- the fact that there is no distinct "good" or "evil" in the stories. The reader is left to make up their own mind as to who they feel more empathy with and are Routing for to win Bella's heart. Go to a group of 20 or so Twihard fans, and for every 1 who is one "Team Edward" there will be at least 1 who is "team Jacob". What better way of demonstrating to teenagers how complicated the troubles of the world are!

I rest my case.... so if i have convinced you lets go.... Stephanie Meyer's IS the new Will Shakespere ... END OFF!!!!!

The game of the juggling balls

just read this in the book Im reading at the mo and it struck a real cord.





"Imagine that life is a game in which you are juggling 5 balls. The balls are called work, family, health, friends and integrity. You concentrate on keeping them all in the air. Sometimes this is easy to do and other times it is harder and you fear that you will be unable to keep juggling.


But what some people dont understand that the "work ball" is rubber. In that if it is dropped it will bounce back again. However the other 4 balls (family, friends, health and intergrity) are made of glass. If you drop one of these then it will be irrevocably scuffed, damaged or perhaps even shattered.


So once you finally truely understand the lessons of the 5 balls then you will have the beginnings of balance in your life."





This is sooo true. We go through life never really appreciating how precious things are until they are questioned. How many times do we fail to realize times we spend with our family or friends will be the things we remember when we are old and grey and long since outta the loop of work?


The rubber ball is exactly that. If anyone of us died tomorrow the harsh reality is even though our immediate work collegues would mourn us, miss us etc life goes on and there would be someone new sitting in our chair in 3 months time. However for the family, friends, loved one and people we left behind then their life will never be the same again.


Or the importance of our health.. Again Im lucky to be born with everything working properly and I take it for granted without a thought. That was until an irregular smear a few years back. At the time this was pretty scary as it was also around the time of the Jade Goody Cancer story just coming to light. Luckily everything was fine but now when I get the letter from the Smear Clinic telling my its time for my regular check out then its no longer a cringy thing that i try to put off.



So what have I learnt?

Yes work hard, give ur all, be committed BUT put more of your effort into ensuring that you keep your glass balls aloft!

snow patrol at ward park

Yes folks I was there , along with the other 39,999 "history makers".

To tell you the truth Im not a massive snow patrol fan. I do have few of their albums but must admit I sorta find their stuff quite "samey". However, i do like my music and a "big occasion" so when i heard that SP were returning to Bangor and it was being suggested that it would be like a Festive experience I decided I was in.

Was so pleased on saturday morning to see that the sun was indeed shining - good start . Though a small part ( a really small part ) was slightly disappointed that I would not be able to wear my new Hunter Wellies!

Luckily for me my sis was driving (she has a 4 month old and felt it wasnt worth waking up for a Sunday morning feed with a hangover). As we drove down the Bangor dual carriageway it was busier than normal with many other cars clearly heading for Ward Park. We even saw a coach of men stopped for a piss stop at the side of the road (classy!)

We found one of the offical car parking fields with relative ease and a £5 fee wasnt that expensive. Then equipped with all our essentials _ crisps =check, water = check, sun cream = check, hat =check and most importantaly our inflatable guitars= double check we were set.

We got to Ward Park roughly by 4:30 so General Fiasco were already on stage but it wasnt TOO busy.. We quickly found a wee patch of grass to the right of the stage but in close proximity to the food places.

general fiasco played and got a good reception from the home crowd. We settled down with our Yum noddles, rose wines (only £3.50 a bottle) and chilled. Gradually the park filled up with a mixture of people in a variety of get ups. Next on was a band i had not previously heard off (tho apprentluy a massive fav of ferne cotton) - Band of Horses. Really enjoyed their set. So much so I have ordered their 1st CD on play.com and am now a big fan.

Lisa Hanigan was nxt on and again got a great reception from the crowd. At this stage we decided to move into the throngs to soak up the atmosphere when SP came on stage. The crowd understandably went wild when Gary and the rest of the band made it on stage. And i think u could generally see they how overwhelmed they were with the reception. The usual "big tracks" - chasing cars, take back this city got the best cheers with crowd (including me) joining in. By this stage we were also rocking it out with our guitars- woop woop!

All in all i enjoyed the day - good weather, crowd, atmoshere, fireworks all made for a great day. So roll on Paul Weller at Belsonic is what i say!

I am not a robot - marina and the diamonds gig

Last Wednesday me and my "gigging" partner Nicki mossyed on over to Queens student union to see Marina and the diamonds. As she isnt really a Big name yet the tickets were prices at £11 which was fab! And quite an odd mix of fans there as well.
The support act was another female who had a great voice but was wearing an odd get up...some people lik Paloma faith, marina get away with wearing mis matched clothese... this girl in her gold harem pants and lips t shirt just looked bit odd

Marina came on looking extremely cool.. wearing massive big red glasses....and sounding wicked. She has a fab voice and a great stage presence which the support (even tho good) lacked. Unfortunately i hadnt download the album so really only recvognised the few popular songs... I am not a robot was immense as was hollywood.
Was slightly disappointed that the gig only lasted 1 hr and that was including 2 songs as an encore though in that time she managed to wear 3 different outfits. The band (thou not the diamonds as i had originally thought few weeks back) were also very dapper in their bow ties.
Appareently "the diamonds" are in fact the audience who she interacts with!

all in all, well worth the £11 and will b "watching this space". For me - nxt stop Paul Weller and Ellie Goulding!

reliability more important than looks?

b4 anyone goes bananas here - wondering if Iv suddenly received enlightenment regarding matters of the heart - I am talking about reliablity of the 4 wheeled kind!

Im not one of those people who got remotely excited by a car - asked to describe a car I generally went no further than its colour and a shape. Ask me about the make, engine size and i was totally lost and drifted off to sleep. However a car is an essential part of my daily life. I travel over 300 miles/week on a round trip to work and back and coupled with many weeknds away throughtout our lovely island its a necessity evil for me.

However, this summer I decided that I would throw caution to the wind and get a car that I considered looked sharp. Anyway I got a dealer to search for and import for me a convertible beetle. Not any beetle - it had to be harvest moon (or cream to you and I ). Imagine my excited when a week or 2 later the dealer had indeed found a car to fit my requirements.

So on a nice sunny Thursday I excitedly drove down to bangor to collect my "new baby" And I must admit "she" looked pretty damn good and to b fair still does. However, once the initial excitement has worn off Im not as totally excited by her as I once was.

Firstly the shape of her is incredibly bulky - the days of squeezing into a tiny parking space or parrell parking has pretty much gone which is incredibly frustrating especially as I have to park On street at night.

The trade-off for the hood is that the rear mirror is pretty non extistent so even tho I got parking sensors put on , Im not always totally confident when reversing or indeed switching lines.

However, the biggest pain in the arse happened for the 3rd time today - hence the blog. As I was away from home for a week and therefore not driving for a week, when I went to drive her today the battery was totally flat. This happened twice b4 over the christmas holidays when again I didnt drive her for 4/5 days. At the time I put it down to the cold temperature. However,the fact that it has happened again makes me think its a problem with the electrics and cud happen again.

So my friends I pretty much am frustrated by her (btw i named her Bertha as thats apparently what u do with beetles - a male friend told me)

However, maybe if we get this summer that everyone is promising and when Im sailing up the coast with her hood down MAYBE Ill change my mind!

But at the moment when choosing my nxt car Ill consider more than the external appearance. And whilst it might b something boring and convential I'll take more notice about how it is to run!

popping my blogging cherry

have never considered blogging b4 for few reasons
a)I had previously seen it as something people did contacted with their job/were travelling/or had an interest or knowledge such as beauty or technology
b) an not especially a good speller and at times my typing is down right woeful
however having seen few other "ordinary" people start a blog up recently Iv decided to throw my hat into the ring and give it a go too.

I guess Im someone who has embraced the whole Digitial world.. opened up a Facebook account nearly 3 years ago and actively wrote on the old network wall, then later the groups.
Recently Iv become slightly bored with FB and Twitter now is my fav way of venting thoughts and opinions. Twitter also allows for my "nosey" side of human nature to fester. I enjoy reading the variety of blogs on there on variety of topics Im not especially knowledgable or interested in previously.

I cant promise that my blogs will provide any clear insight into aught much - i see it more as a diary feature on things going on around me, things that are topical at the moment so if thats ur thing I hope u will enjoy reading it.
paula x